Can't hardly believe it! All these years, all the times that I sat in front of my computer and made myself envision the completed book...what it would feel like in my hands. What it would look like, smell like (am I the only one that loves the smell of books?)
A few days ago, I sat behind a table, taking a pen in my hand, and penned love notes and words of encouragement to over 150 books! There were moments when I felt like stopping and pinching myself. None of it seemed real. It could not really be happening. But it was. More than 175 people gathered around me in a exhilarating show of delight and anticipation. I could hardly write at times for the breathtaking feelings going on inside me. Inside of caving to the emotions, I focused on each person in front of me. One person at a time who came up to the table with a book or often multiple books. I felt so honored. So unworthy. So excited! So amazed.
Some days have passed and I have been busy fulfilling book orders and reading the amazing comments from those who have already read the book front to cover. This part of authorship was totally new to me. It is the part that will...as I write future books...spur me on. I told someone about a year ago that I knew when I started writing that I would never stop writing. It's addicting. Part of breathing to me.
I was talking to a very close friend yesterday and she was pressing me to realize the spiritual ramifications that this book will have and she asked me if I was ready to accept those and stop out into the realities of publishing such a book. God's name is out there. I have proclaimed Him great, sovereign, on-time, worthy, loving, and just in this first book. Am I not willing to use the momentum, the publicity, the available platform to lift His name higher?
Honestly, I was so busy writing the book and thinking of just specific people who I prayed would be impacted by the stories, I had not thought that far ahead. It is not that I am unwilling to help expand the renown of God in other ways. But is it right for me? Still praying and seeking God's face on that.
But for now, I revel in
the proud completion of something so close to my heart. My girls are reading the book now and making comments. They are perhaps seeing things they have never known about their momma or our early ministry. Love how I can continue teaching them and lifting up God's glorious name in front of them....in a way that is so passionate for me!
My joy is full. Every time I lift another book out of a box to sign it and send it off to an eager reader, I look at the cover, feel its wonder between my fingers, and smile. I just have to.